If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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