dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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