No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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