Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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