i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
