Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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