That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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