You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
