wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
