I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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