i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
