What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
