i permit you to call me
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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