the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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