You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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