i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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