Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
How's work?
Spinning.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
