This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
