Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
