susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
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