All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
