U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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