You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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