Dual....:-)
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Randomize
