it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
