I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
