And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
