garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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