Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
