I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
