her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
