thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
