tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
