He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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