HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
