He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
