worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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