he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
