i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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