Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
