Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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