Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
