he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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