your parents love me but you hate me
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
love makes seman taste better
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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