I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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