is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Randomize
