I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
