I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
