I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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