would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
